I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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