just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
