and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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