he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
