kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
