Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize