So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
