No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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