Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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