What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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