ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
