he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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