you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
