i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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