My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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