Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
