It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
