Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
