when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
