I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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