now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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