We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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