Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
