it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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