he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
