If you die in college, do you die in real life?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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