I want to make a zoo with you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
