i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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