I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
