Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
