My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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