Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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