I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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