You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
