If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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