Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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