Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
