i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
