we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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