Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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