we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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