we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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