why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
time to smoke my breakfast
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
