A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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