I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
