New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize