Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
