the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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