Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
