Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
