i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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