I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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