I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
