i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
