Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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