White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize