Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the day after is always just damage control
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
