matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
