the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
