He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
