bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He shit in the fireplace
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
