Dual....:-)
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
