He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
