I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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