That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
