508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
