Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize