I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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